Category Archives: Self-command

Isolation and grief

"I have had all this hanging on my mind, without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature . . ."

Elinor Dashwood, Sense and Sensibility, v. 3, ch. 1

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Self-knowledge (or not)

Such behaviour as this, so exactly the reverse of her own, appeared no more meritorious to Marianne, than her own had seemed faulty to her.

Sense and Sensibility, v. 1, ch. 19

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Filed under Elinor, Marianne, Self-command, Sense and Sensibility, Sense vs. Sensibility

Constant and painful exertion

"The composure of mind with which I have brought myself at present to consider the matter, the consolation that I have been willing to admit, have been the effect of constant and painful exertion; they did not spring up of themselves; they did not occur to relieve my spirits at first. No, Marianne. Then, if I had not been bound to silence, perhaps nothing could have kept me entirely—not even what I owed to my dearest friends—from openly showing that I was very unhappy."

Sense and Sensibility, volume 3, chapter 1

Elinor to Marianne

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A sister’s feelings

"You do not suppose that I have ever felt much."

Sense and Sensibility, volume 3, chapter 1

Elinor to Marianne

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The first smart of the heavy blow

Supported by the conviction of having done nothing to merit her present unhappiness, and consoled by the belief that Edward had done nothing to forfeit her esteem, she thought she could even now, under the first smart of the heavy blow, command herself enough to guard every suspicion of the truth from her mother and sisters. And so well was she able to answer her own expectations, that when she joined them at dinner only two hours after she had first suffered the extinction of all her dearest hopes, no one would have supposed from the appearance of the sisters, that Elinor was mourning in secret over obstacles which must divide her for ever from the object of her love, and that Marianne was internally dwelling on the perfections of a man, of whose whole heart she felt thoroughly possessed, and whom she expected to see in every carriage which drove near their house.

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Filed under Edward Ferrars, Elinor, Heartbreak, Marianne, Self-command, Sense and Sensibility

Eight very short years

“Soon, however, she began to reason with herself, and try to be feeling less. . . . Alas! with all her reasonings she found that to retentive feelings eight years may be little more than nothing. Now, how were his sentiments to be read? Was this like wishing to avoid her? And the next moment she was hating herself for the folly which asked the question.”

Anne Elliot, on first encountering Captain Wentworth again over breakfast at Mary’s house, after not having seen him for years
Persuasion, volume 1, chapter 7

I love this quote. Anne’s trying to hard to be reasonable, to not feel what she’s feeling, to not think about Captain Wentworth, and she can’t help herself.

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Filed under Anne Elliot, Capt. Wentworth, Persuasion, Self-command, Uncertainty in love

Marriane on self-control

“The business of self-command she settled very easily: with strong affections it was impossible; with calm ones it could have no merit. That her sister’s affections were calm, she dared not deny, though she blushed to acknowledge it; and of the strength of her own, she gave a very striking proof by still loving and respecting that sister in spite of this mortifying conviction.”

Sense & Sensibility, volume 1, chapter 19

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