Elinor . . . had hardly done wondering . . . at the strange unsuitableness which often existed between husband and wife . . .
Sense and Sensibility, volume 1, chapter 21
Of Elinor trying to understand Mr. and Mrs. Palmer
Category Archives: Marriage
Strange unsuitableness
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Filed under Elinor, Marriage, Sense and Sensibility
May as well be single
Argh — yesterday was a rough Lyme day. I’m afraid against my best intentions this has become the occasionally-daily Austen quote. Happy Friday the 13th!
“Miss Blachford is married, but I have never seen it in the Papers. And one may as well be single if the Wedding is not to be in print.”
letter to her niece Anna Lefroy
March 1815 [118]
With all my soul
“I wish with all my soul his wife may plague his heart out.”
sweet, kind Mrs. Jennings, about Willoughby
Sense & Sensibility, volume 2, chapter 8
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Filed under Marriage, Mrs. Jennings, Sense and Sensibility, Willoughby
Never loving by halves
” . . . that Marianne found her own happiness in forming [Col. Brandon’s] was equally the persuasion and delight of each observing friend. Marianne could never love by halves; and her whole heart became, in time, as much devoted to her husband as it had once been to Willoughby.”
Sense & Sensibility, volume 3, chapter 14
Filed under Col. Brandon, Happiness, Love, Marianne, Marriage, Sense and Sensibility
An extraordinary fate
“Marianne Dashwood was born to an extraordinary fate. She was born to discover the falsehood of her own opinions, and to counteract by her conduct her most favorite maxims. She was born to overcome an affection formed so late in life as at seventeen, and with no sentiment superior to strong esteem and lively friendship, voluntarily to give her hand to another-and that other, a man who had suffered no less than herself under the event of a former attachment, whom, two years before, she had considered too old to be married, and who still sought the constitutional safeguard of a flannel waistcoat!”
Sense & Sensibility, volume 3, chapter 14
More on Marianne and Colonel Brandon in an article I wrote in response to Lori Gottlieb: Would Jane Austen Settle? (I think not, but I also think she would challenge our definition of love.)
Filed under Col. Brandon, Love, Marianne, Marriage, Sense and Sensibility
The misery of being bound without Love
“The unpleasantness of appearing fickle is certainly great-but if you think you want Punishment for past Illusions, there it is-and nothing can compare to the misery of being bound without Love, bound to one, & preferring another. That is a Punishment which you do not deserve.”
letter to her niece Fanny Knight
November 30, 1814 [114]
Filed under Austen family, Letters, Love, Marriage, niece Fanny Knight, Uncertainty in love
A possible Evil
“I am at present more impressed with the possible Evil that may arise to You from engaging yourself to him-in word or mind-than with anything else. When I consider how few young Men you have yet seen much of-how capable you are (yes, I do still think you very capable) of being really in love-and how full of temptation the next 6 or 7 years of your Life will probably be-(it is the very period of Life for the strongest attachments to be formed)-I cannot wish you with your present very cool feelings to devote yourself in honour to him.”
letter to her niece Fanny Knight
November 30, 1814 [114]
I think they quoted this nearly directly in Miss Austen Regrets. Olivia Williams as Jane Austen.
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Filed under Austen family, Letters, Love, Marriage, Men, niece Fanny Knight
How very far from a now
“I am perfectly convinced that your present feelings, supposing you were to marry now, would be sufficient for his happiness;-but when I think how very, very far it is from a Now, & take everything that may be, into consideration, I dare not say, ‘determine to accept him.’ The risk is too great for you, unless your own Sentiments prompt it.”
letter to her niece Fanny Knight
November 30, 1814 [114]
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Filed under Austen family, Letters, Love, Marriage, niece Fanny Knight, Uncertainty in love
Your own feelings
More from Jane’s letters to her niece Fanny, about whether or not she should marry Mr. John Plumptre:
“Now, my dearest Fanny . . . You frighten me out of my Wits by your reference. Your affection gives me the highest pleasure, but indeed you must not let anything depend on my opinion. Your own feelings & none but your own, should determine such an important point.”
letter to her niece Fanny Knight
November 30, 1814 [114]
Imogen Poots as Fanny Knight in Miss Austen Regrets
Filed under Austen family, Letters, Love, Marriage, niece Fanny Knight, Uncertainty in love
A good memory is unpardonable
Alas… just one more evening of P&P on Sunday.
“You are joking, Lizzy. This cannot be!-engaged to Mr. Darcy! No, no, you shall not deceive me. I know it to be impossible.”
“This is a wretched beginning indeed! My sole dependence was on you; and I am sure nobody else will believe me, if you do not. Yet, indeed, I am in earnest. I speak nothing but the truth. He still loves me, and we are engaged.”
Jane looked at her doubtingly. “Oh, Lizzy! it cannot be. I know how much you dislike him.”
“You know nothing of the matter. That is all to be forgot. Perhaps I did not always love him so well as I do now. But in such cases as these, a good memory is unpardonable. This is the last time I shall ever remember it myself.”
Lizzy and Jane discussing Lizzy’s engagement to Mr. Darcy
Pride & Prejudice, Volume 3, Chapter 17
Another lovely icon from the icon contest at Jane Austen Today, this one from Mandie at ATUA.
Filed under Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet, Jane Bennet, Love, Marriage, Pride and Prejudice
The Jane Austen Guide to Life: Thoughtful Lessons for the Modern Woman (May, 2012)
A Walk with Jane Austen: A Journey into Adventure, Love, and Faith